Head Vs Heart

What is “the heart” truly? 

Everyone has a heart. We refer to “the heart” in our lives as a living, breathing, thinking, mechanism.

I’m not referring to the blood-pumping life-supporting physical organ in your chest. I’m referring to the idea that humans reference when speaking about anything that has to do with emotions, actions, decisions and more. 

“This is my heart speaking.” Where do the specific thoughts, emotions, and actions come from that we determine this?   

And then where do the separate thoughts, emotions, and actions come from where we identify, “This is my head speaking.” 

References to “the heart” throughout time are endless. 

You’ll consistently hear people saying the phrase, “my head versus my heart.” 

Our muscular heart doesn’t actually think like our brain…or does it? Heart transplants do show some weird after effects, like personality changes that match the previous person who owned the heart. So does it hold memories? 

The English Standard Version of the Bible mentions the heart 862 times! There is much positive sentiment around having a good and pure heart. Matthew 6:21 reads, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” And the famous repeated line from Exodus, “Still Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he would not listen to them, as the Lord had said.” 

We give a lot of weight to “what our heart says” and what is it really? Is it intuition? Experience? Knowledge? Is the heart another name for our spirit or our soul? 

Merriam Webster defines the heart in a few ways, but notably it has the following definitions that are relative: personality, disposition, emotional or moral nature distinguished from the intellectual nature, one’s innermost character, feelings, and inclinations, and compassion. 

I’m very curious on what and why we came to this conclusion that the heart has its own opinion, weight, and rights. 

We reference a broken heart, a fulfilled heart, a healing heart, a cold heart, a PURE heart. It takes heart. She has a big heart, etc. 

At what point does the head and heart differ, divert, and become compartments of their own? At which thought, do we decide, “This one is coming from my head, and this other one is coming from my heart.” This is what I “know” and this is what I “feel.”

Why do we place love in our heart, and not in our brain, our foot, or our stomach? 

At what point do we know someone has a “pure heart?” And what defines a “pure heart?” Yes of course I have my subjective personal view, but do we all have a similar idea of what makes up this person? 

Is it hard to obtain, gain, or practice having a pure heart? If so, then why don’t we all have pure hearts

Would you agree, the world would be a better place if we all had what we all perceived was a pure heart, instead of a hard heart, such that Pharaoh displayed in his story? 

Could we agree, we are born with a pure heart

Children have a sense and level of purity, until they began to obtain knowledge. That is when they can decide to lie and manipulate their parents. Huh, that sounds vaguely like the story of Adam and Eve, and when they gain knowledge of good, they also gain knowledge of evil. And when we have knowledge of evil, we can think it, feel it, and do it. 

OR we can choose to have a pure heart and avoid evil thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Of course, evil is subjective here, but it makes up those things we would consider is the opposite of a pure heart. In example, lying and deception, manipulation, and trickery. 

Well I’ll leave it for your mind to ponder now, what is your personal “head space” and what is your “heart?” Who do you listen to, when, and why? How do you define your heart?

Why 8 Days in the Hospital Wasn’t Terrible

It was 9 weeks of an autoimmune flare that sparked me to take an uber to the ER.

I was admitted after waiting many hours in extreme pain. I was speaking in tongues while waiting to be seen and put out of my misery. The pain and anguish covered my body from head to toe, inflammation and dehydration debilitating me to sweat and tears.

This was the first time I visited a hospital as a Christian. I brought a 3-day packed bag, because I knew I wasn’t going home, and needed to be restored. I brought my Bible and read it in the ER. A few people came up to me to praise me for reading it, and gave me their phone numbers. I thought, “Well this is nice.”

As I was in the ER section, I met two more fellow Christians, and we connected and became friends. One of them is a transporter and now we speak daily about God and work on our missions together.

As the days went on, every single day, I met another fellow believer in Jesus Christ: the people who took my blood each day, the nurses, the nurses aides, the cleaning crew, and more. Each day God blessed me with love and light from His people.

One day I was praying in a lounge room in tongues. When I was finished a nurse came to me and spoke to me in Portuguese. I looked at her with question, and she asked me where I was from, “Brazil? Portugal? Spain?” I said, “Hi, I’m from California, and I’m not too sure what you said.” She told me I was speaking in Portuguese and Spanish through my tongues, and I had no idea. She translated it back to me and my eyes welled with tears.

I then felt a sense to prophecy to her, and asked her if she had a son. Now her eyes teared up, and said, “Only God could be speaking this, because we have just met.”

I could feel her worry about her child, he was going through something, and God let me know to tell her, everything was going to be okay. It had already been done, in His name. We hugged and cried, and I went back to my bed to rest, full of the Holy Spirit and Awe.

I then began to translate all of my tongues using the Translate App, and began seeing that I really was speaking French, Portuguese, Latin, and Spanish. God works miracles, and He spoke through me, to me, with loving, affirmative messages. “I am with you. I am your best friend. I love you, my daughter, my love. Rest, sit, wait, I am here with you.” It’s amazing, and now we speak everyday through this language.

Each day, the blood tests came back the same. There was no improvement for 7 days and the doctors could not find a cause or trigger. Each day I walked around the floor, singing and praising the Lord, being in the presence of the Holy Spirit, and spreading smiles to the patients and nurses. I spoke to Chaplains, got advice about my journey, and poured my heart out. I knew I would heal because I’ve healed many times before.

Did you know, most people staying in the hospital are quite crabby? God let me know I was a ball of sunshine there to walk around and lighten the moods that week. I was put there on assignment, and He knew I could handle the pain, the IV’s, the testing, and the answers.

On day 8, the numbers changed by about 30% from the first day, showing a slight decrease in inflammation, and the doctor allowed me to go home to heal.

These 8 days were drastically different from the 9 days I spent at the hospital earlier this year, without knowing Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. This time was a time for rest, and time to get closer to God, and to be fully blessed with the speaking of tongues. This time was a time to let me know, let me grow, and let me heal on His time, on His will.

I’m home now and healing day by day. I’ve learned I physically and mentally cannot do a normal job – it always ends up with me sick in the hospital.

I’m going into 100% Full Time Ministry and Teaching of God’s Word. It is my purpose to read, write, learn and teach. It is my duty to spread the Gospel.

Jesus is coming, God Loves Us, and the world needs more Love. Stay tuned for more blogs!

If you’d like to contribute a gift of love to my life and purpose, my cash app is $NixieDee

Learn More About Nixie using LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/nixiewellness

Life is Not a Competition


Life is not a competition.

Your life is not a race. At the end of our lives, we’re all going to the same place. We are all dying each and every day.

If you want to relieve yourself of anxiety, pressure, and the ways of this world: STOP comparing yourself to any other human being. That’s right. RIGHT NOW. Only you can compare yourself to yourself. Let go of everyone else’s timeline.

I speak from a place where it’s all I ever did and it got me nowhere. It was a huge waste of time, emotion, and energy. You already know, come on now! Every time you focus on yourself, your goals, and what you are doing with your purpose, you will succeed. When you follow your truth, you will succeed. When you follow the will of God, your heart’s desire, You Will Succeed.

There are definitely things you will fail at – AND THATS OKAY. Failures show us who we are NOT, so we can then see who we ARE. I was always so sad, depressed, and beat myself up each time I failed at a job or business. That position wasn’t right for me, and now I see why. That position wasn’t meant for me, and now I see why. We must take the time to reflect, if we ever want to grow.

You have been brought to Earth for a specific divine purpose.

You have been brought to Earth to help heal, save, and uplift those around you.

You shine when you walk into the room. You lift the energy X10 and have always been curious on how exactly you can do that. It is the light within you. It is the LOVE within your heart and eyes. It is God.

What people deem worthy in this life: your bank account, your house size, your car brand, your smart watch, your follower count – does not give you entry into Heaven. And to be honest, it doesn’t even bring you JOY. It brings you more pain because you’re seeking the next best version of each material item you

STOP and think about five things you did as a child that brought you joy. Maybe it was jumping on a large trampoline, doing arts and crafts, riding your bike in the field, playing board games, rollerblading in the rink, and dancing to the radio. I remember the most fun I had with my family one night was making a music video to an Offspring song, without any cameras around! We all had our lines, we all knew the song, and we all had fun together acting out the silly song. It was a rare moment, and that JOY I felt of collaborating with my family with creativity, light, and fun will never be forgotten.

What brings your heart joy? That is what your life should be about.

With health, happiness, family, friends, music, dancing, creating, painting, laughing, laughing, and laughing some more, May you live the rest of your days with the Love of God. I love you all. God Bless You, In Jesus Name.

What Inspires You To Jump Out of Bed?

🛑 🖐️ STOP! Seriously, Why do you get up in the morning?

💖 I used to think “because I have to” and honestly, that is no way to live a life.

💖 We are blessed each day with the power to breathe, see, hear, dance, eat, and be merry. We are given a new chance each time the Lord wakes us up.

💖 Each day that we choose to cry, stay in bed, and suffer in our mental illness is another day we are not moving towards our future. >YES< it is OKAY to take some time to yourself, but in that down time, you should be meditating, praying, reflecting, and evaluating what you TRULY want out of our life. The reason we get depressed is because we are no longer feeling or doing the things that give us JOY.

💖 Think about what made you happy as a child. Write down 20 things that you did as a kid to make you happy. Begin doing those things again, as much as you desire in your heart.

💖 What does success mean to you? If you thought, “Health, happiness, joy, laughter, time with my family” you’re not alone. If you’re reading this, you most likely would rather spend your time feeding the homeless, helping seniors, volunteering with animals, or making art.

💖And why aren’t you? Why not YOU? Why not YOU?

💖 Tell me below in the comments or private DM, why not you? Why not today? Don’t give an excuse, tell me the truth. What is holding you back? Let’s demolish the negative thoughts, beliefs, habits, and passed life you want to change. Let me guide your mind into a brighter, lighter, future.

💓 Five Power Plays to A Happy Life 💓

💓 Five Power Plays to A Happy Life 💓

If you want to sustain your happiness and joy within your life, you need a plan.

🔷 YOU need a routine, a fuel source of greatness and fire 🔥

😄 Happiness, joy, forgiveness, healing, processing, digesting, overcoming, persevering with hope and health, will no longer evade you!

💃 I’ve danced through fires and am THE COMEBACK QUEEN 👑 – Bounce Back like a YoYo 🪀

My pyramid of energy has changed this year. It used to have self-love on the top and faith to follow. After experiencing my own death of identity and body this year, and being mentally broken, I switched them around. I met God, I spoke to Buddhas, I saw demons and Angels, and I walked through the Valley of the Shadows of Death. I was protected. Some call this “Fire Baptized.”

I always have had to learn the hard way; this was the hardest thing to overcome in my life.

Without faith in a higher power, and HIS Son, I would not be here today. I was completely gone out of my mind, and eyes blacked out; my brain was inflamed to the point of giving me complete neurological shut down, and seizures. During one really painful seizure, my soul energy left my body and I watched over it. I watched my eyes tear up and cry as my body was in extreme pain. Every muscle fiber and cell was on fire, I remember even my Teeth hurt.

Since I’ve been anointed with the Divine Light and Energy from Yeshua and God, all pains I feel are easily swept away.

I am reminded of my Earthly wisdom, and given the answers and guidance to care for myself. I am given the energy and guidance I always sought out from a Coach, Mentor, Parent, or Boyfriend. I now hear the good word coming from within, “Stop and rest. Take a lunch break. Visit the ocean. Spend time with your Dad. Go surprise your mom. Call your sister. Hug your nieces and nephew. Open the Clubhouse app, there is a client waiting for you. Go to Canva, make some content. Go outside, visit the baby ducks.” And then when I listen to that instinct, that voice, that higher power, I feel the flow. I feel at ease.

I feel guided by the brightest light, the one so bright I couldn’t look at it before. I couldn’t stand it before. It was too much, it was too powerful. Now that I put God Energy first in my 5 Power Plays, it FUELS my Mentorship business. I am driven towards my destiny. I am quickened to write a book, a blog, a post, to show a particular other soul at the exact sensitive time where they need inspiration. The light bounces from HIM into me, and as a mirror, I take that light and bounce it towards the next person. Each mirror reflects the light, feels the warmth, and creates the same exact strength of light beam to the destination.

When we are powered by LIGHT, Pure White Light, God Energy, Yeshua Jesus Christ Energy, all comes into alignment.

You feel it in your fingertips, you feel it in your soul, you feel everything inside of you, and hear all the good that is told.

You are awakened, from a dark space of sleep, you have come out of your cave of darkness, of your man’s philosophy.

You know what is within you and now concealment is undone, I show you to the world, N, because you are your own Sun.

Bright, Inspiring, Creating Life on Earth. You are the strong, You are the mighty, You are the Sword, You are the Fighting.

This war is within, it always has been. You know it too, You read the truth.

Now go on your way into the day, with a smile on your face, for I will always be by your side, and I want to know my King is feeling High!

Have a beautiful day! I love you all, my friends.

Becoming A Female Founder


My hemp spices were featured in FORBES!

Look Mom, I’m in FORBES MAGAZINE! 

Wow, it has been an inspiring few months. In October, my life and business partner Dane Kemp, decided to apply for a Pre-Seed Business Accelerator called The Founder’s Institute. This is a 5-month program that helps you take an idea or start-up to the next level to achieve funding. We have always ran our business out of our pocket and wondered how exactly to close this gap and now we have.

All of the fears and self-limiting beliefs about being a founder, creator, business woman, and girlfriend are officially debunked. I learned that everyone needs help from people smarter than them. Dane reiterated the phrase, “If you’re the smartest one in the room, you’re in the wrong room,” day after day in our business but I never believed it until I saw it. The Founders Institute has millionaire and billionaire mentors who can help you form, build, grow, and scale the business idea of your dreams (if it makes sense!)

Today I’m writing this blog in a moment of peace, the day after Christmas. I took the day off personal training my client to really focus on my goals here in our business. I’m planning out my social media posts and LIVES, since marketing has been our number one downfall. We made the product, we got it out to some people, but we never spent money on real marketing. We’ve done events here and there, podcasts, and lives, but nothing was consistent. I didn’t plan, strategize, and dedicate time each day to marketing and selling my product. I thought, “It’s the best product of it’s kind, why would anyone buy anything else?” The truth is because they’re being TOLD to buy something else!

We do what we’re told… often. Going back to Psychology classes, marketing is persuasive, convincing, and outright deceiving at times. Marketing makes you believe this is the product for me. Because of my knowledge and previous judgements, I thought marketing was lying, a farce, something to look down upon! WOWWWWW a business owner who won’t share her idea? WHAT THE FUCK?!

I’ve created the best raw acidic cannabinoid line to help people live a highly functional life, and have been quiet about it. People are out there hocking CBD-FREE CBD oils at the gas stations, liquour stores, and CVS! I’m in my home with hand-grown turmeric powder and hand-ground down ceremonial matcha wondering why I have no sales.

BECAUSE I’VE BEEN TOO SHY AND QUIET! Here is my word of advice, once you’ve got your amazing idea, product, website, logos, colors, and social media set up – go out there and scream from the rooftops about your passion. Scream about your knowledge and love for your product, lifestyle, and all that comes with it. Be your own PR and Media company. Be your own boss, best friend, and biggest fan. Don’t let doubt and self-limiting beliefs stand in your way. Don’t let them exist. Write them down and burn them in a fire! Now go get it!

Lots of Love,


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Why Do People Avoid Reflection?


When we are faced with pain, we immediately want to escape it. We have been taught to avoid pain. “Don’t touch the fire” “Take this aspirin” “Take this painkiller”

What if, instead, we faced the pain, looked at it dead in the eye, and said, “Why are you here?”

Pain is the “Check Engine” light on your car. It’s the thing that comes on to tell you something is wrong, so you better get it checked or you’re gonna break down.  Pain is mental and physical. Usually pain doesn’t occur immediately, but only after things have progressed to a point that you are beginning to break down. As I was sitting in the dentist chair getting my cavity filled, I thought about this:

If we are taught to avoid pain, why would we be driven to look inside, where we know pain resides? Why would we dive deep into self-reflection and growth, if we know by going there, we WILL feel pain. We will feel sadness, depression, anxiety, and resentment. We will feel anger, loss, and frustration.

Do you think this is why most people don’t reflect on their thoughts and actions daily?

For those of you who are crazy enough to look inside, be prepared. It is dark in there and you don’t have a flashlight. It’s everything you have been avoiding consciously but exhibiting subconsciously.  It’s the pre-programming that occurred from age 0-7, locking in your personality, therefore locking in your personal reality. What’s inside is the answer “why” to all of your life questions. The truth is rooted deep within your heart. Why have you shut her out?


We’re All F*d Up And That’s Okay! [Also, What is Epigenetic Programming?]


We’re All F*d Up

And That’s Okay!

[Also, What is Epigenetic Programming?]

We’re all f*d up and that’s okay. We are all a product of nature and nurture: the combination of our genetic and epigenetic disposition, mixed with our upbringing and external world. Our bio-psycho-social atmosphere determines our personal reality, which becomes our personality.  We are all simply made up of the fucked up shit in and around us. Okay, right, but we don’t get a “pass” for all of that, just being a product, because we are not strictly mindless animals. We have free will, damnit!

So then why do we all act like we can’t help ourselves when we burst out in anger, stumble over our insecure thoughts, or obsess over our vanity without taking any action? Why do we act helpless to our genetics? 

[[Genetics are given to us through our DNA. Our mother and father come together and give us this set that determines our physical features. Epigenetic DNA is the set of DNA we create from nurture- meaning if we stimulate that sensitive DNA, it will take a specific reaction. For example, I have a very long history of Jewish people on both the sides of my family, a history of high anxiety and gut issues. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at 24, meeting the top 3 bullet points of “people with this disease most likely meet this criteria: 

  • Jewish Descent
  • Age 15-30
  • Family history of gut issues 

So my genes were set up to react with this disease, if all of the right buttons are pushed. I can change the outcome by changing my epigenetic programming, the tail ends of the DNA strands that act as dimmer switches to the DNA. By exercising daily, eating consistently clean and healthy foods (unprocessed), living a low-stress lifestyle, keeping an anxiety-free mindset, and giving myself the self-love that I need each day, I can minimize the adverse effects of the disease. I can essentially “lower the dimmer switch” so the light of inflammation is not so bright. 

Another easy example to wrap your head around epigenetic data is alcoholism. If a person has 2 parents who are alcoholics or exhibit addictive behavior, the child has a dimmer switch set to 5/10 instead of 0 because she was born with her parents’ epigenetic programming of addictive behavior, which they may have gotten from their gene line. So as the child decides to start binge drinking, her dimmer turns to 8/10 of “alcoholism” making her more likely to have trouble controlling her drinking behavior. Let’s say the opposite, she decides to never pick up a drink in her life because she sees how it ruined her parents’ marriage and bodies. She decides to pick up healthy habits such as exercising in the morning and painting in the evening to cope with daily life stress. She then lowers her dimmer switch to 1/10, reducing her chance of becoming an alcoholic. 

We all have this power within us, to use our brain and habits to change our DNA. If you don’t believe me, listen to more than few doctors who have proved it! Dr. Rudy Tanzi: 

Rudolph Tanzi is the Joseph P. and Rose F. Kennedy Professor of Neurology at Harvard University, and Director of the Genetics and Aging Research Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital. Tanzi has been investigating the genetics of neurological disease since a student in the 1980s when he participated in the first study that used genetic markers to find a disease gene.

We’re all fucked up and that’s okay. Our genes came from our crazy parents, and we were born into obligated circumstances.  Positive Takeway: We’re alive! And if you’re reading this, you too have a chance to grab your free will by the balls and use it for your pleasure. Stop causing yourself pain with your choices, haven’t you had enough? I sure have. I’m sick of making stupid choices daily, to set me back in all the goals I truly want to achieve: a life filled with love and peace, a delicious looking body, a calm mind, financial abundance, and friends who I can connect with on this deeper level. I’m done letting my old belief system and programmed way of thinking get in my way of being a shining beacon of light, love, and hope for a better life. 

With Love, 


What A Trainer & Nutrition Coach Eats

As a nutritionist who is gluten free and plant-based, people ask me what I eat and why they should eat it.

Eating is a personal journey. You must find the nutrients that work best for you, your body, and your life. My diet is very specific because I have many food allergies and an autoimmune disorder.

Most weekdays I start the morning with a protein shake, smoothie, matcha latte, or vegan yogurt, along with my supplements.  I  blend it myself using plant protein, fruit, cinnamon, vanilla, stevia, and plant-based milk, or buy a pre-made drink for $2-4.

If it is the weekend, I may start my morning with some vegan scramble, sauteed with a seasonal vegetable, such as zucchini.

For lunch and dinner, I always eat a rice bowl or sandwich. The rice bowl consists of poke or mexican ingredients. Example: sushi rice, tofu, (sustainable shrimp sometimes), cucumber, jalapeno, tomato, spicy radish sprouts, pineapple, cilantro, green onion, red onion, carrots, avocado, soybeans, ginger, wasabi, and a ton of spicy mayo, yuzu ponzu, and tamari. This is my main meal of the day. 

If I go to Chipotle, I’ll get white rice, sofritas, fajita veggies, 1 scoop pico de gallo, 2 scoops sweet corn, 1 scoop verde, guacamole, and lettuce. As you can see, the poke bowl has many more vegetables, so I prefer it on most days. The drive is further, or the kitchen prep takes much longer, so my favorite poke bowl does not always win.

If I’m not digging through a veggie-rice bowl, I’ll eat a Tempeh-Lettuce-Tomato Sandwich, or Grilled Tofu Sandwich, on gluten free bread. I love Schar’s baguettes and mini brioche buns, found at Sprouts. I also love Mountain White GF bread from Whole Foods. Everything is covered in spicy mayo, rather its Sriracha-Mayo, Ginger-Sriracha-Mayo, or some other hot sauce-mayo combination.

I don’t always eat dessert, but when I do, it’s vegan coconut milk ice cream. If I have a snack, it’s most likely a chai-tea latte, berry fruit salad, organic tator tots, or organic fries, baked at home. I love potatoes. My cheats/junk food include organic kettle chips, air popcorn, dark chocolate, crystallized ginger, and more vegan ice creams. Sugar makes me feel groggy and have GI issues, so I am in my best health when I don’t eat/drink very much of it.

My calorie goal is 1300 calories, and it increases if I work out, or out and about all day.  I don’t count calories unless I’m trying to lose weight, so I stick to my normal eating habits listed above to keep myself lean. Counting calories makes me super OCD due to my anorexic history, so I stick to eating when hungry, and staying hydrated.

I drink water most of the time. If I’m not drinking water, I’m drinking an herbal tea or protein shake. I hope this helps you figure out what meals work for you and your fitness goals! Feel free to ask me any questions. Lots of Love! Kudos and Judos!

The Scientifically Best Way To Use Caffeine for Fat Burning


Not only is it a performance enhancer, but it also accelerates the rate at which fat is broken down within the body, which will help you burn a higher percentage of calories from fat during exercise. If your body draws on fat stores rather than glucose while you’re working out, your glucose levels remain stable, which in turn means you feel less hungry.

Don’t just head down to the local Starbucks, however; when it comes to caffiene, you must take the right kind, in the right amount, at the right time, with the right blend of complementary supplements. Caffeine in coffee form is ineffective for FAT BURNING; the other ingredients in coffee interfere with its performance enchancing efforts.



The most effective form of caffeine for weight loss is an herb called guarana. Guarana is a tropical plant found in the Amazon jungle, where native inhabitants have used it for hundreds of years. Guarana contains a compound nearly identical to caffeine. Unlike coffee,(type A caffeine) which produces an energy surge with a sudden rush and quick drop-off, Guarana is not readily water-soluble and therefore is not too quickly absorbed. [If you’d like to make it more bio-available, take it with a spoon of MCT oil.] Guarana’s caffeine (Type B) is released much more slowly, over a period of hours, producing an energy boost that continues to escalate gradually.


Guarana is most effective combined with white willow bark. The combination synergistically elevates energy expenditure (calorie burning) by interfering with prostaglandin production and inhibiting nor- epinephrine breakdown.

The best way to use caffeine for weight loss is to ingest 5 mg of Guarana per kg of body weight 40 minutes prior to exercise. 

Look for a supplement that combines Guarana and white willow bark (natural aspirin.)

Salix-alba (white willow) contains salicin, which the body converts into salicylic acid which has the same effect as aspirin, without any adverse reactions. This provides a natural anti-inflammatory effect for your workout!


When combined with guarana seed, and CITRUS aurantium, white willow increases the body’s ability to utilize fatty acids while preserving lean muscle tissue.

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