Head Vs Heart

What is “the heart” truly?

Everyone has a heart. We refer to “the heart” in our lives as a living, breathing, thinking, mechanism.

I’m not referring to the blood-pumping life-supporting physical organ in your chest. I’m referring to the idea that humans reference when speaking about anything that has to do with emotions, actions, decisions and more.

“This is my heart speaking.” Where do the specific thoughts, emotions, and actions come from that we determine this?

And then where do the separate thoughts, emotions, and actions come from where we identify, “This is my head speaking.”

References to “the heart” throughout time are endless.

You’ll consistently hear people saying the phrase, “my head versus my heart.”

Our muscular heart doesn’t actually think like our brain…or does it? Heart transplants do show some weird after effects, like personality changes that match the previous person who owned the heart. So does it hold memories?

The English Standard Version of the Bible mentions the heart 862 times! There is much positive sentiment around having a good and pure heart. Matthew 6:21 reads, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” And the famous repeated line from Exodus, “Still Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he would not listen to them, as the Lord had said.”

We give a lot of weight to “what our heart says” and what is it really? Is it intuition? Experience? Knowledge? Is the heart another name for our spirit or our soul?

Merriam Webster defines the heart in a few ways, but notably it has the following definitions that are relative: personality, disposition, emotional or moral nature distinguished from the intellectual nature, one’s innermost character, feelings, and inclinations, and compassion.

I’m very curious on what and why we came to this conclusion that the heart has its own opinion, weight, and rights.

We reference a broken heart, a fulfilled heart, a healing heart, a cold heart, a PURE heart. It takes heart. She has a big heart, etc.

At what point does the head and heart differ, divert, and become compartments of their own? At which thought, do we decide, “This one is coming from my head, and this other one is coming from my heart.” This is what I “know” and this is what I “feel.”

Why do we place love in our heart, and not in our brain, our foot, or our stomach?

At what point do we know someone has a “pure heart?” And what defines a “pure heart?” Yes of course I have my subjective personal view, but do we all have a similar idea of what makes up this person?

Is it hard to obtain, gain, or practice having a pure heart? If so, then why don’t we all have pure hearts?

Would you agree, the world would be a better place if we all had what we all perceived was a pure heart, instead of a hard heart, such that Pharaoh displayed in his story?

Could we agree, we are born with a pure heart?

Children have a sense and level of purity, until they began to obtain knowledge. That is when they can decide to lie and manipulate their parents. Huh, that sounds vaguely like the story of Adam and Eve, and when they gain knowledge of good, they also gain knowledge of evil. And when we have knowledge of evil, we can think it, feel it, and do it.

OR we can choose to have a pure heart and avoid evil thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Of course, evil is subjective here, but it makes up those things we would consider is the opposite of a pure heart. In example, lying and deception, manipulation, and trickery.

Well I’ll leave it for your mind to ponder now, what is your personal “head space” and what is your “heart?” Who do you listen to, when, and why? How do you define your heart?

Life is Not a Competition

LISTEN TO THIS BLOG – PRESS PLAY!

Life is not a competition.

Your life is not a race. At the end of our lives, we’re all going to the same place. We are all dying each and every day.

If you want to relieve yourself of anxiety, pressure, and the ways of this world: STOP comparing yourself to any other human being. That’s right. RIGHT NOW. Only you can compare yourself to yourself. Let go of everyone else’s timeline.

I speak from a place where it’s all I ever did and it got me nowhere. It was a huge waste of time, emotion, and energy. You already know, come on now! Every time you focus on yourself, your goals, and what you are doing with your purpose, you will succeed. When you follow your truth, you will succeed. When you follow the will of God, your heart’s desire, You Will Succeed.

There are definitely things you will fail at – AND THATS OKAY. Failures show us who we are NOT, so we can then see who we ARE. I was always so sad, depressed, and beat myself up each time I failed at a job or business. That position wasn’t right for me, and now I see why. That position wasn’t meant for me, and now I see why. We must take the time to reflect, if we ever want to grow.

You have been brought to Earth for a specific divine purpose.

You have been brought to Earth to help heal, save, and uplift those around you.

You shine when you walk into the room. You lift the energy X10 and have always been curious on how exactly you can do that. It is the light within you. It is the LOVE within your heart and eyes. It is God.

What people deem worthy in this life: your bank account, your house size, your car brand, your smart watch, your follower count – does not give you entry into Heaven. And to be honest, it doesn’t even bring you JOY. It brings you more pain because you’re seeking the next best version of each material item you

STOP and think about five things you did as a child that brought you joy. Maybe it was jumping on a large trampoline, doing arts and crafts, riding your bike in the field, playing board games, rollerblading in the rink, and dancing to the radio. I remember the most fun I had with my family one night was making a music video to an Offspring song, without any cameras around! We all had our lines, we all knew the song, and we all had fun together acting out the silly song. It was a rare moment, and that JOY I felt of collaborating with my family with creativity, light, and fun will never be forgotten.

What brings your heart joy? That is what your life should be about.

With health, happiness, family, friends, music, dancing, creating, painting, laughing, laughing, and laughing some more, May you live the rest of your days with the Love of God. I love you all. God Bless You, In Jesus Name.

What Inspires You To Jump Out of Bed?

🛑 🖐️ STOP! Seriously, Why do you get up in the morning?

💖 I used to think “because I have to” and honestly, that is no way to live a life.

💖 We are blessed each day with the power to breathe, see, hear, dance, eat, and be merry. We are given a new chance each time the Lord wakes us up.

💖 Each day that we choose to cry, stay in bed, and suffer in our mental illness is another day we are not moving towards our future. >YES< it is OKAY to take some time to yourself, but in that down time, you should be meditating, praying, reflecting, and evaluating what you TRULY want out of our life. The reason we get depressed is because we are no longer feeling or doing the things that give us JOY.

💖 Think about what made you happy as a child. Write down 20 things that you did as a kid to make you happy. Begin doing those things again, as much as you desire in your heart.

💖 What does success mean to you? If you thought, “Health, happiness, joy, laughter, time with my family” you’re not alone. If you’re reading this, you most likely would rather spend your time feeding the homeless, helping seniors, volunteering with animals, or making art.

💖And why aren’t you? Why not YOU? Why not YOU?

💖 Tell me below in the comments or private DM, why not you? Why not today? Don’t give an excuse, tell me the truth. What is holding you back? Let’s demolish the negative thoughts, beliefs, habits, and passed life you want to change. Let me guide your mind into a brighter, lighter, future.

Becoming A Female Founder

My hemp spices were featured in FORBES!

Look Mom, I’m in FORBES MAGAZINE!

Wow, it has been an inspiring few months. In October, my life and business partner Dane Kemp, decided to apply for a Pre-Seed Business Accelerator called The Founder’s Institute. This is a 5-month program that helps you take an idea or start-up to the next level to achieve funding. We have always ran our business out of our pocket and wondered how exactly to close this gap and now we have.

All of the fears and self-limiting beliefs about being a founder, creator, business woman, and girlfriend are officially debunked. I learned that everyone needs help from people smarter than them. Dane reiterated the phrase, “If you’re the smartest one in the room, you’re in the wrong room,” day after day in our business but I never believed it until I saw it. The Founders Institute has millionaire and billionaire mentors who can help you form, build, grow, and scale the business idea of your dreams (if it makes sense!)

Today I’m writing this blog in a moment of peace, the day after Christmas. I took the day off personal training my client to really focus on my goals here in our business. I’m planning out my social media posts and LIVES, since marketing has been our number one downfall. We made the product, we got it out to some people, but we never spent money on real marketing. We’ve done events here and there, podcasts, and lives, but nothing was consistent. I didn’t plan, strategize, and dedicate time each day to marketing and selling my product. I thought, “It’s the best product of it’s kind, why would anyone buy anything else?” The truth is because they’re being TOLD to buy something else!

We do what we’re told… often. Going back to Psychology classes, marketing is persuasive, convincing, and outright deceiving at times. Marketing makes you believe this is the product for me. Because of my knowledge and previous judgements, I thought marketing was lying, a farce, something to look down upon! WOWWWWW a business owner who won’t share her idea? WHAT THE FUCK?!

I’ve created the best raw acidic cannabinoid line to help people live a highly functional life, and have been quiet about it. People are out there hocking CBD-FREE CBD oils at the gas stations, liquour stores, and CVS! I’m in my home with hand-grown turmeric powder and hand-ground down ceremonial matcha wondering why I have no sales.

BECAUSE I’VE BEEN TOO SHY AND QUIET! Here is my word of advice, once you’ve got your amazing idea, product, website, logos, colors, and social media set up – go out there and scream from the rooftops about your passion. Scream about your knowledge and love for your product, lifestyle, and all that comes with it. Be your own PR and Media company. Be your own boss, best friend, and biggest fan. Don’t let doubt and self-limiting beliefs stand in your way. Don’t let them exist. Write them down and burn them in a fire! Now go get it!

Lots of Love,

Nicole

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Why Do People Avoid Reflection?

When we are faced with pain, we immediately want to escape it. We have been taught to avoid pain. “Don’t touch the fire” “Take this aspirin” “Take this painkiller”

What if, instead, we faced the pain, looked at it dead in the eye, and said, “Why are you here?”

Pain is the “Check Engine” light on your car. It’s the thing that comes on to tell you something is wrong, so you better get it checked or you’re gonna break down. Pain is mental and physical. Usually pain doesn’t occur immediately, but only after things have progressed to a point that you are beginning to break down. As I was sitting in the dentist chair getting my cavity filled, I thought about this:

If we are taught to avoid pain, why would we be driven to look inside, where we know pain resides? Why would we dive deep into self-reflection and growth, if we know by going there, we WILL feel pain. We will feel sadness, depression, anxiety, and resentment. We will feel anger, loss, and frustration.

Do you think this is why most people don’t reflect on their thoughts and actions daily?

For those of you who are crazy enough to look inside, be prepared. It is dark in there and you don’t have a flashlight. It’s everything you have been avoiding consciously but exhibiting subconsciously. It’s the pre-programming that occurred from age 0-7, locking in your personality, therefore locking in your personal reality. What’s inside is the answer “why” to all of your life questions. The truth is rooted deep within your heart. Why have you shut her out?

We’re All F*d Up And That’s Okay! [Also, What is Epigenetic Programming?]

We’re All F*d Up

And That’s Okay!

[Also, What is Epigenetic Programming?]

We’re all fd up and that’s okay. We are all a product of nature and nurture: the combination of our genetic and epigenetic disposition, mixed with our upbringing and external world. Our bio-psycho-social atmosphere determines our personal reality, which becomes our personality.* We are all simply made up of the fucked up shit in and around us. Okay, right, but we don’t get a “pass” for all of that, just being a product, because we are not strictly mindless animals. We have free will, damnit!

So then why do we all act like we can’t help ourselves when we burst out in anger, stumble over our insecure thoughts, or obsess over our vanity without taking any action? Why do we act helpless to our genetics?

[[Genetics are given to us through our DNA. Our mother and father come together and give us this set that determines our physical features. Epigenetic DNA is the set of DNA we create from nurture- meaning if we stimulate that sensitive DNA, it will take a specific reaction. For example, I have a very long history of Jewish people on both the sides of my family, a history of high anxiety and gut issues. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis at 24, meeting the top 3 bullet points of “people with this disease most likely meet this criteria:

Jewish Descent
Age 15-30
Family history of gut issues

So my genes were set up to react with this disease, if all of the right buttons are pushed. I can change the outcome by changing my epigenetic programming, the tail ends of the DNA strands that act as dimmer switches to the DNA. By exercising daily, eating consistently clean and healthy foods (unprocessed), living a low-stress lifestyle, keeping an anxiety-free mindset, and giving myself the self-love that I need each day, I can minimize the adverse effects of the disease. I can essentially “lower the dimmer switch” so the light of inflammation is not so bright.

Another easy example to wrap your head around epigenetic data is alcoholism. If a person has 2 parents who are alcoholics or exhibit addictive behavior, the child has a dimmer switch set to 5/10 instead of 0 because she was born with her parents’ epigenetic programming of addictive behavior, which they may have gotten from their gene line. So as the child decides to start binge drinking, her dimmer turns to 8/10 of “alcoholism” making her more likely to have trouble controlling her drinking behavior. Let’s say the opposite, she decides to never pick up a drink in her life because she sees how it ruined her parents’ marriage and bodies. She decides to pick up healthy habits such as exercising in the morning and painting in the evening to cope with daily life stress. She then lowers her dimmer switch to 1/10, reducing her chance of becoming an alcoholic.

We all have this power within us, to use our brain and habits to change our DNA. If you don’t believe me, listen to more than few doctors who have proved it! Dr. Rudy Tanzi:

Rudolph Tanzi is the Joseph P. and Rose F. Kennedy Professor of Neurology at Harvard University, and Director of the Genetics and Aging Research Unit at Massachusetts General Hospital. Tanzi has been investigating the genetics of neurological disease since a student in the 1980s when he participated in the first study that used genetic markers to find a disease gene.

We’re all fucked up and that’s okay. Our genes came from our crazy parents, and we were born into obligated circumstances. Positive Takeway: We’re alive! And if you’re reading this, you too have a chance to grab your free will by the balls and use it for your pleasure. Stop causing yourself pain with your choices, haven’t you had enough? I sure have. I’m sick of making stupid choices daily, to set me back in all the goals I truly want to achieve: a life filled with love and peace, a delicious looking body, a calm mind, financial abundance, and friends who I can connect with on this deeper level. I’m done letting my old belief system and programmed way of thinking get in my way of being a shining beacon of light, love, and hope for a better life.

With Love,

Nixie

What A Trainer & Nutrition Coach Eats

As a nutritionist who is gluten free and plant-based, people ask me what I eat and why they should eat it.

Eating is a personal journey. You must find the nutrients that work best for you, your body, and your life. My diet is very specific because I have many food allergies and an autoimmune disorder.

Most weekdays I start the morning with a protein shake, smoothie, matcha latte, or vegan yogurt, along with my supplements. I blend it myself using plant protein, fruit, cinnamon, vanilla, stevia, and plant-based milk, or buy a pre-made drink for $2-4.

If it is the weekend, I may start my morning with some vegan scramble, sauteed with a seasonal vegetable, such as zucchini.

For lunch and dinner, I always eat a rice bowl or sandwich. The rice bowl consists of poke or mexican ingredients. Example: sushi rice, tofu, (sustainable shrimp sometimes), cucumber, jalapeno, tomato, spicy radish sprouts, pineapple, cilantro, green onion, red onion, carrots, avocado, soybeans, ginger, wasabi, and a ton of spicy mayo, yuzu ponzu, and tamari. This is my main meal of the day.

If I go to Chipotle, I’ll get white rice, sofritas, fajita veggies, 1 scoop pico de gallo, 2 scoops sweet corn, 1 scoop verde, guacamole, and lettuce. As you can see, the poke bowl has many more vegetables, so I prefer it on most days. The drive is further, or the kitchen prep takes much longer, so my favorite poke bowl does not always win.

If I’m not digging through a veggie-rice bowl, I’ll eat a Tempeh-Lettuce-Tomato Sandwich, or Grilled Tofu Sandwich, on gluten free bread. I love Schar’s baguettes and mini brioche buns, found at Sprouts. I also love Mountain White GF bread from Whole Foods. Everything is covered in spicy mayo, rather its Sriracha-Mayo, Ginger-Sriracha-Mayo, or some other hot sauce-mayo combination.

I don’t always eat dessert, but when I do, it’s vegan coconut milk ice cream. If I have a snack, it’s most likely a chai-tea latte, berry fruit salad, organic tator tots, or organic fries, baked at home. I love potatoes. My cheats/junk food include organic kettle chips, air popcorn, dark chocolate, crystallized ginger, and more vegan ice creams. Sugar makes me feel groggy and have GI issues, so I am in my best health when I don’t eat/drink very much of it.

My calorie goal is 1300 calories, and it increases if I work out, or out and about all day. I don’t count calories unless I’m trying to lose weight, so I stick to my normal eating habits listed above to keep myself lean. Counting calories makes me super OCD due to my anorexic history, so I stick to eating when hungry, and staying hydrated.

I drink water most of the time. If I’m not drinking water, I’m drinking an herbal tea or protein shake. I hope this helps you figure out what meals work for you and your fitness goals! Feel free to ask me any questions. Lots of Love! Kudos and Judos!

The Scientifically Best Way To Use Caffeine for Fat Burning

Caffeine

Not only is it a performance enhancer, but it also accelerates the rate at which fat is broken down within the body, which will help you burn a higher percentage of calories from fat during exercise. If your body draws on fat stores rather than glucose while you’re working out, your glucose levels remain stable, which in turn means you feel less hungry.

Don’t just head down to the local Starbucks, however; when it comes to caffiene, you must take the right kind, in the right amount, at the right time, with the right blend of complementary supplements. Caffeine in coffee form is ineffective for FAT BURNING; the other ingredients in coffee interfere with its performance enchancing efforts.

Guarana

The most effective form of caffeine for weight loss is an herb called guarana. Guarana is a tropical plant found in the Amazon jungle, where native inhabitants have used it for hundreds of years. Guarana contains a compound nearly identical to caffeine. Unlike coffee,(type A caffeine) which produces an energy surge with a sudden rush and quick drop-off, Guarana is not readily water-soluble and therefore is not too quickly absorbed. [If you’d like to make it more bio-available, take it with a spoon of MCT oil.] Guarana’s caffeine (Type B) is released much more slowly, over a period of hours, producing an energy boost that continues to escalate gradually.

Dose

Guarana is most effective combined with white willow bark. The combination synergistically elevates energy expenditure (calorie burning) by interfering with prostaglandin production and inhibiting nor- epinephrine breakdown.

The best way to use caffeine for weight loss is to ingest 5 mg of Guarana per kg of body weight 40 minutes prior to exercise.

Look for a supplement that combines Guarana and white willow bark (natural aspirin.)

Salix-alba (white willow) contains salicin, which the body converts into salicylic acid which has the same effect as aspirin, without any adverse reactions. This provides a natural anti-inflammatory effect for your workout!

Bonus

When combined with guarana seed, and CITRUS aurantium, white willow increases the body’s ability to utilize fatty acids while preserving lean muscle tissue.

Believing is Seeing – A Poem And Prayer

12/9/2015

Believing is seeing.

I am healing myself from an incurable, auto-immune, inflammatory disease.

I am healing myself from brain trauma and edema. It will go back to normal soon.

I am healing myself with herbal medicine.

I am healing myself with food.

I am healing myself from years of emotional passivity.

I am healing myself from energetic trauma.

I am healing myself from what pharmaceuticals can’t heal.

I am because I believe I can.

Because I believe the ones who I’ve talked to don’t know this positive possibility.

They’ve never seen it before, so they can’t imagine it. They think “seeing is believing.” Well, now I have to show them.

I believe this plan will work. I believe in the power of positive thoughts creating positive energy, therefore creating light and healing.

Injuries are heavy, low, dense energy. I believe in lightening myself from all the stress, pain, and violence of life. Let it go. Detach. Observe.

I’m done accepting the negative energy into my physical body. I feel it in the crowded marketplace, the traffic, and even the home. We all emit our emotions; we all feel the swing of a cheerful person walking in. We all need healing.

We all need the light.

Journals From Recovery “She’s Perfect”

Somewhere in the middle of 2016, I wrote this journal entry. Don’t pay attention to the grammar mistakes. This was written emotionally and with emphasis on capitals/lowercase/italic/bolds. I fell November 1st, 2014. Two years later, I’m still mentally torn and it shows below. Recovery is a long process. ____________________________________________________________________

I was the girl You wanted me to be. Long hair, big boobs and ass, a bikini model body, a life in the city, a funny friend, an outgoing friend, a gay best friend, other females were jealous of, someone who thinks they are happy, a fake idol, an Instagram exhibition. A single girl going to happy hour, being hit on by an older man at the bar. A weekend yoga kinda gal who thinks she’s at peace because her bills are paid. A soulless yet compassionate, too-kind woman. Not strong enough for herself, yet strong enough for everyone else…to step on. I was the girl I had imagined being as a little girl – bossy and respected, hot and mid-20’s, in charge of enough, but not too much, powerful, a sense of superiority, a sense of ‘the world in my hands,” a girl with secrets, skeletons in the closet creating seams to fall apart when the time is right. when the day comes to crash and burn, the doors were ready to be opened, after the lock-down had been made. the trap been shut. the wedding over. the secrets were deep, hidden from even herself, for else they could not exist. desires to be more, yet what is more when you have it all? you don’t have enough, the ego would beg. you need more, more, more. money. space. time. work harder, longer, be leaner. lean in.

I was the girl I dreamt of being as a little girl. A fierce, fighting, i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t woman. didn’t need a man to survive, yet emotionally starved for masculine energy. yang. workout, create your own. be your own boss. be your own MAN. I was the girl the media created. The hair was cut on schedule. The nails were done weekly. All 20 of them. The heels were admired, the lipstick was on. Synthesized from Daddy Issues – and the whole world is “daddy.” Synthesized from Mommy Issues – and the whole world is attacking and murdering Mother. Pain. all pain. she was hiding from the pain, explaining to herself how she was past it because she said so. because she thought so. Her Emotional Intelligence was where You wanted it to be, oh Great Delusion.

It wasn’t enough pain to wake her up. She had to lose it all. First came the digestion, but that wasn’t enough scare. Then came the fall. She had no choice but to let go. Fall into the comfortable bed you’ve denied your entire existence. Awaken into the reality that life is what it is, and that is all. Enlighten your being by recognizing your mother is you! your father is you. your brother, sister, and friend is you. And the sleeping qualities within them you are trying to shake awake, yet you must awaken them within you. WAKE UP.

I was the girl you wanted me to be. I was the girl I thought I wanted to be. Thoughts are delusions. Thoughts are conditions. Conditions are made from the past, not relevant to the now. Feelings and intentions are the truth. I am now the being I intend to be. I am a conscious being existing within a human body. I watch my mind create thoughts daily, sometimes laughing at how negative and silly it tries to make me seem. I know I am not that thought. You are not the sum of your thoughts either if you are watching them dance like a butterfly in the sky. It is the moment you become the fluttering, flittering butterfly that you forget, submit, and get lost within. Feeling each moment we live as if it is the first, the last, and the only brings joy or pain to our being. I am joyed for being able to feel anything at all. I am human and can dance the butterfly dance, or I can be my awareness and be the sky, feeling and experiencing all the dancing life – as it is.