How Did You Get Here?

As I was watching Biggest Loser last night, seeing the morbidly obese contestants step onto the scale, it makes me think. It makes me angry. It makes me sad. And wonder:

How could they do this to themselves? How could they not see what was happening to their bodies? Did they care? Do they want to live a long life? Are they happy? After gaining 10lbs, how come they didn’t stop? 20lbs? 50lbs? How come they didn’t see what it was doing to their bodies, lives, and esteem? What was going through their head as they chugged that soda, munched that cheeseburger, downed that milkshake, or ate all that food? How did they feel after sitting on their ass, day after day, after day? Did they own a scale? Did anyone tell them to change? Did anyone try to help them? Why? Why not?

As a fitness trainer, and self-obsessed body improving perfectionist, I notice every tiny change. I notice a dimple, a wrinkle, a jiggle, a heavy feeling, a light feeling, a sad feeling…I notice every tiny little thing, unless of course it’s positive. So when I improve, it takes me weeks to see. At least 8-12 weeks before I notice a tighter muscle. A smaller tummy. A cheekbone. A change for the better. Some may call it body-dysmorphic disorder. I just call it perfectionism. I always believe we can be better. Stronger. Faster. Tighter.

That doesn’t mean I skip sushi or pizza. That doesn’t mean I don’t accidentally eat 12 cookies in 10 minutes. That doesn’t mean I am perfect in diet and fitness. But I make attempts. Very strong, embedded mentally, attempts. I read labels. Every label. I count calories (mentally). I eat slowly. I don’t party. I eat/use organic products.  I lift heavy. I run hard. And I move often. I constantly believe in improvement. I want to learn something new every day. I want to be inspired. I try.

What goes through your head? How did you get there? Did you notice the negatives or the positives? What makes you tick? What makes you stop? What makes you give up, lie down, and roll over? What makes you crawl into a hole? What makes you pop out of bed with enthusiasm? When you find these things out, you’ll be able to better yourself. You’ll be able to become that girl/guy you’ve always wanted.

You’re overweight because of something in your head, not your body. Your body can work. It can lift. It can lose weight. Even if you have an injury, you can work through it. You can work past it. Eat less if you move less. Eat more if you move more. Make your body work for you. But this means getting your head in the right place. It has to be dedicated. It has to be determined. It has to be for you because of you. You can’t depend on anyone else, or anything else to give you the body you want. Your workout buddy can’t make it? So what. Workout at home. Stop making excuses. And figure out what you really want. You already know. So just be honest with yourself. Tell the truth. Stop living in an illusion. And wake up. It’s going to be scary. It’s going to be saddening. But you know what? It’s going to change you for the better, forever.